It feels like I am not capable of being enough for anyone. No matter how long I ride for someone, or how much I go through with someone, nothing matters. There’s always some issue with me. Either I’m too emotional, too affectionate, weigh too much, etc. I thought when you love someone, you overlook those flaws? Or even if you acknowledge them, you shouldn’t let them interfere with your feelings. I’ve overlooked so many flaws but I can’t see my life without you in it, now that you’ve been in it for a year & a half. It seems as if no attempt is great enough to prove my worth to you. I try. Fuck, I fucking try. Anything for you, you’d know I’d do it. But that still isn’t enough. If we were starving, & there was only one item of food, I’d give it to you, & die happy knowing that you ate. You mean the fuckin world to me, but it’s obvious our feelings aren’t the same. Something has GOT to give….. God, show me a sign….
In the morning, you’re the very first thing I think of. Memories flash through my mind & I remember how much I loved waking up next to you & you being the first thing I see in the morning. I loved feeling your arms around me. I remember lying to my parents, just so I could stay the night with you. I risked getting into big trouble, just to spend a night with you. But the risk of getting punishment was nothing to me. I didn’t care. Being with you was worth it. Even if it was only for the night. November, 2011. That’s when I fell for you. I wasn’t supposed to, & I didn’t mean to. It just happened. We’ve been through so much together… From me acting out… To us both seeing each other with other people. But somehow, we always end up finding our way back to each other. Every time. Our love is unbreakable… It can’t be divided. It can’t be worn down. No matter how much shit we go through, somehow it stays strong. I know you’re the one. I’m the one for you. You’re the one for me. I know I have some things to work on, but they’re getting worked on for you & for us. I wanna be the girl that gets to walk down the aisle & see you as her groom. That’s where I wanna be. I wanna be the girl to state into your eyes & say “I do.” & I have faith that that’s what will happen in the future. You’re my other half, & without you, I’m not full. I love you. & that’s through anything & everything. & I will be here forever. At night, you’re the very last thing I think of. I remember laying next to you after we made love, with your arms around me, & feeling the heat of your body against mine. Little memories like just how you feel against me, mean the most to me. & there will be many more memories to be made. We have our whole lives
literally about to cry because every little thing is bothering me
on top of that i’m stressed out over school
nobody seems genuine to me anymore
and now i see peoples real intentions on why they want to be friends with me
pretending to be happy when I am the farthest thing from it is starting to get very hard.
Maybe if you let me be your lover..